entirely incomplete



There was this little girl who ONCE thought that life and fairytale is the SAME.
PERFECT family, CURABLE problems, and HAPPY endings.
NO complications, everything is SIMPLE…

Then this day CAME that everything she thought was just her imagination. Her parents fought and quarell a LOT.
They SHOUTED, and BACKSTABBED, and CURSED at each other.
She SAW it all because she was always in FRONT of them WATCHING and crying and THINKING why are they doing those things.
Why are they IGNORING her?
She could not understand because She was just a LITTLE girl!
OBLIVIOUS from so many complications.
It went on.

Until ONE day.
One of her parents attempted to END those temporary problems with a PERMANENT solution.
Turned out it was unsuccessful.
Seconds before it was too late.
The hell she was CONFUSED!
She wanted to KNOW and UNDERSTAND the situation.
But did not know
What to SAY,
What to FEEL,
Who to ASK.
To WHOM should she talk?
Her YOUNGER sister whose half her age?
Her FRIENDS just young as she was?
Her parents who had their own sh*t going on?
She felt lost and ALONE.
She felt IGNORED, that no one would even explain something to her.

Time passed…
Those problems remained unfixed.
A tragedy happened…
And another PROBLEM happened.
WHAT did she do?
She sucked up all those sh*tiness.
She IGNORE those huge elephants in the room.
She did not open those skeletons in the closet.

She was deeply affected.
She changed.

Time passed.
The little girl GREW up.
She now knows life is full of complications.
She refrain from
Telling her STORIES.

Afraid she might be ignored AGAIN,
She became QUIET.
Because she thinks it will prevent complications.
It will prevent her from getting HURT and hurting someone.
Just like she was hurt BEFORE.
She doesn‘t want to FEEL that way AGAIN.
She became PASIVE.

She grew up.
But deep inside she was STILL this little girl.
Craving for ANSWERS.
Wanting to be HEARD and SEEN.
NOT being ignored.
Wanting to CHOOSE to be happy.
She wants to believe in happy endings again, AT LEAST.
Because she knows that life is NOT perfect.
Life is full of questions.

So if you see this girl,
TRY to understand where she‘s coming from.
Don‘t judge her.
Be PATIENT with her.
DON‘T leave her.
She just WANT somebody to comfort her.
To be with her.
To tell her everythings‘s going to be ALRIGHT.
Because BELIEVE me,
She TOLD her that to herself.
Many times.
Still, nothing‘s changed.

She TRIED to be better.
She TRIED to change.
Really TRIED.
She‘s TIRED.



Photo credit: Google

Photo credit: Google



My heart is as gray as the sky

pale, lifeless, and gloomy

the rain that pours

signifies the pain I feel




I should be used to this

no light, no warmth

no one to keep me warm

the dull weather will be gone soon

by my rain will constantly pour

only you can save me from this

only you…..



Photo Credit: Google

Photo Credit: Google

I admit that I am not the nicest person in the world, but I am trying to be one.
I can be really evil at times, but I am trying to be good all the time.
I treat people with respect. Most especially, I try to be the best kind of friend to my friends and loved ones.
Like you, I really treat and treasure you like how I treat my friends.
I don‘t talk behind your back.
I am sincere.

But there are times that I feel like you don‘t treat me as a friend, that you are not sincere, that you are fake.
I feel that you treat me as a last resort. That hurts me.
Sometimes I don‘t know you anymore.

Now I want to ask you why.
Why do you treat me that way?
Why do you make me feel bad?
What did I do wrong?

There are times that I wish I did not met you, that we did not became friends.
However, I could not imagine what would I be like if we never became friends.
You are still a part of my life.
We shared each other‘s life stories.
You are still my friend.

Painful Reminder


                  Always distinguish reality from make-believes

         Never hope in what‘s not real

             Don‘t assume things

  You‘re also at fault

                          There won‘t be a happy ending if there‘s no beginning at all

           Don‘t be a fool to always believe in happy endings

    Just accept the fact that some things are just not meant to be

You‘re just an anybody, not a somebody

                  Move on..
                         Though it will be hard to forget
                                 Just move on and smile
                                                      Smile even if it‘s hard
                                                                  At least, just smile


Why does it seems I chase people away?

they just don’t stay

it is not okay

I don’t know what to say


it makes me sad

I am hurt

it’s hard to ignore this kind of feeling

it’s worsening…





I can’t help but to feel gloomy

while reminiscing those moments that seemed so happy

Thinking that it might not happen again

Here I am regretting all of a sudden

Time pass so fast

and  not all things will last

They always say “enjoy every moments like it’s the last”

I say, “how can I…





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